William James
Yes, this post is about acceptance. I do believe that 'acceptance' truly has been an overlooked state-of-mind in my life. This absence is, I am sure, part of the cause of many hours of spinning my wheels and angrily reving the engine that is my spirit. When we are faced with adversity, our natural inclination is to fight, to move forward, to do anything and everything we can to simply not feel the way that we do. I have felt deep seated anger, pain, anguish, and sorrow - and spilled many tears of frustration in the midst of a rut that has simply gone on far, far, far too long.
But what I realized is that my fighting, my resistance and aversion to pain and sorrow, to loss and anxiety, has simply produced nothing. The only peace I have known in the last number of years has come when I have completely surrendered to the 'demons' lurking inside me and allowed them to overcome me - allowed them free reign in my bosom, carte blanche. There is a poem by Rumi called The Guest House, which I remember fondly in times like these:
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ Rumi ~
Granted there are times when the pain is great, the anxiety is through the roof and the confusion, the voices, the thoughts, are overbearing. And at times like this, we wish, we pray, that we could be silent inside and feel warmth and wellness; and we're afraid of letting the voices and the pain to get worse, so we fight it with thoughts, we fight it with anger, we fight it with whatever habits we have at our disposal. And sometimes, if the habits are good, it can help...
But I have learned that letting go, and accepting our "states", our "circumstances" is a practice that opens that door to the silence we seek. Acceptance is an assertion that brings us into the moment, and lifts us out of the past and all its regrets, all the losses.
In this sense, perhaps there is something to be said for empathizing with with your 'enemy' - that elusive Jungian 'Shadow'.
According to Carl Jung, we all contain a 'shadow self' which consists of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_(psychology) I'm certainly not going to profess being an expert in psychology, Jungian, Freudian or what-have-you. But I do believe that when we feel anguish, depression, hang-ups or issues, that resistance is sometimes futile. Part of the answer is acceptance - its like covering yourself in a warm blanket, which allows you to move forward into that cold walk up the mountain side towards the sun.
To accept one's self - warts and all - is to respect one's self. And that, my friends, is the best, most important gift you can give yourself.
Peace - n love.
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