And I'm back

I was immersed in a suffocating blanket of confusion and existential angst for the last while, which is the result of idle time with my self and a propensity towards analyzing the world and forgetting to live day-to-day. But yesterday I decided to simply let go of my past, and let go of all the crap that has been bothering me. Its really sometimes that easy, I believe - to be willing to let it all go without understanding it all, without thinking one's self into some kind of conclusion or resolution about their troubles, regrets, and heart-ache. No one can think themselves into a better life. It is important to let go of negative thinking styles, but I've learned that one can become attached to their 'problems', and become addicted to the analysis of themselves, believing that there is going to be a eureka moment where the problems dissipate. By spending hours upon hours fretting about the same things over and over again, I've learned one thing: that it serves absolutely no practical purpose to go over what is that is bothering you. In fact, it is entirely counter-productive, because what you focus on simply grows and grows and grows until it becomes all encompassing in your mind.

To anyone who is ever bogged down with negative thoughts, let me tell you this: you should and can take responsibility for your own happiness. Much of the time, people with 'existential angst' - that feeling of being lost and confused and not knowing what to do or what you want in life comes, in part, from the way that we think. Firstly, there is the importance of positive thinking, of being grateful. I really doubt that there is a counsellor or psychologist out there who does not espouse the importance of having a positive outlook on life and of being grateful and appreciating the little things in one's life. Life will simply not 'make' you happy, and you will not one day wake up and 'be' happy. You have to will yourself into 'being' happy NOW, by changing the way that you think. You have to believe in yourself and work to impress yourself, and then go after what you want. But the most important mistake, to my mind, that people who are 'stuck' make is trying to see the whole road and try to walk that whole road at once. They want the destination and overlook and fear the journey. This way of thinking will simply not do. The journey itself is the destination. If you feel stuck, in other words, and dont know what you want, it is because you are looking for the destination, when what you should want is the journey, because being on that journey is definitely better than being stuck. And the only way to love the journey, is to see it as a day-to-day, moment-to-moment series of accomplishments.

I hope this helps!

Z